16.5.205 11.03PM abhi tak aai nhi I’m waiting for her aaj uska exam hai english ka i hope accha jaye i know accha jayega I’ll make her study aur jayda she doesn’t study
Heyolease comehere ibeg yoy olewse telkto me lyahan olwae plwase
I’m here calm down
im taking Etizolam
Where did you put it tell me
I’m insane I’m fucking insane what is happening to me I’m talking to myself? No this is more than just talking everything goes blank i don’t remember writing this and taking that med why did i call for help? Who did i even call for ?
You’re not insane ritz tell her everything you know and clam down.
(18.5.2024) wow wow just wow ??? Wtf was that all about she sent you a gif and you asked her so many questions ???
I love her alot , alot in a very literal sense way more than i can love anyone and i think I’m not enough for her i think I’m very scared to lose her i want to explore her i know there are things that she didn’t tell me yet i know she hides i know she lies but i can understand why she thinks her dad wont let us be together but she doesn’t know me yet i and i that is not enough never enough to make her trust me and fight with her dad but I promise you I’ll make you trust me i swear i will. Bas please don’t let go ever ???? Don’t let go. You can’t let go of me ever we both know that , breakups would be just a title your silence kills me too if you or if we ever be apart promise me we’ll always talk the same ? (17.5.2025) Promise me you’ll joke around with me promise me you’ll Atleast laugh when I call you mental you can hurt me all you want I’m yours I’ll always be yours forever and ever. You’re not my moon you’re the dark that allows the moon to be the moon.
I know I don’t deserve you but I won’t ever give you I’ll work hard for you , you said in college you’ll make sure i work hard I’ll make sure you work hard too. I’m sorry aaj mere karan you didn’t study , you know agar abhi right now right this moment agar mere mar jane se it would mean that you get good marks I’ll do it without thinking you said I’m more important than your career don’t ever say that baccha. Pata hai sometimes its like something takes over me and i get scared to the point I drift you away this overwhelming feeling this overthinking i never really told you kitna it affects me kitna it harms me but I’m working on it and thanks to you I’m trying to atleast hold them together i get those nightmares sometimes but then i talk to you and it all goes away for good. I won’t let my past and my overthinking ruin us in any way i know you overthink too you told me that from the start isile I didn’t tell you about mine but i will soon, very soon. Tab tak ke liye just trust me.
Maybe you should go. Seriously. You won’t be able to take what’s coming. It’s getting worse and I know it. The way I think, the way I feel—it’s only going to mess you up. You’ll end up hating me. I’ll say something that’ll make you question if you ever really knew me. And then it’ll be too late. I don’t want you to hate me ever, so block kardo please and if you stay don’t do it out of pity. Don’t do it because you think I’ll die without you. Do it because you see something in me no one else ever did. Do it because you know I would give everything for you even if I never say it right. Even if all I do is push you away. Because I do love you. So much it scares me. So much I would rather lose you than be the reason you break and about losing…well it’s a cute word if i lose you there will be no me but atleast that would be better than being alive and seeing you hate me. But still, a part of me hopes… you don’t listen to me. That you see me , see me for who i really am and then go because you don’t fully know me yet you haven’t even touched me yet You haven’t felt my skin shake when you say my name when you make it so worth it , You haven’t placed your ear on my chest to hear the heartbeat And isn’t that what love is ?
but if you Stay, Not forever. Just… until you hear it. Then, if it sounds wrong walk away. But if it sounds like home, You’ll know why I never wanted you to go. Because if you do and i know you will..soon very soon sayad aaj hii, And i know if you do You’ll miss me in silence but blame me out loud I know leaving running away always made you feel safe in a way but then why, why does it still hurt when I don’t chase you ? And if i am that monster if I’m something that will really ruin you , if I’m the monster then why did you keep feeding me hope ? You soon very soon you would hate me as you should but I just wish you would have understand with my perspective I never wanted to hurt you never. Never wanted to make you not study but something you said just reminded me of my past and made me lose control so yes i wish i could tell you this i wish you somehow know well it’s getting late. I’ll go now I’ll see you later I’ll never stop seeing you
now playing the duet by OMORI